I woke up at 6:45 this morning to the lovely smell of Hacienda la Esmeralda Geisha filling my nostrils. Anticipating the glorious cup of coffee I was about to be served, I slipped into my Faccia dei Colori bathrobe and headed to the breakfast nook. Walking past my personal office, I heard the fax machine in operation. Curious about what I was receiving at such an early hour, I hastily tied the robe around my perfectly sculpted abs and entered my office. Understandably, most of you will read this first paragraph and assume I was receiving information on potential business deals and real estate options. Well, I'm here to tell you that is not the case! The following is the fax I received from Dean today, word for word. Enjoy.
Jimmy! Yeah! Whats up man yeah! Jimmy i had to send this fax to you yeah! i'mgong to sperm this chick man no doubt yeah! i had this chat w her last night man had to show you so if you can inculde it in you blog man i'll be honored yeah! Arrroooooooooooooooooooooooooo yeah! jimmy chedk this pm out this chick wants my yotesausage man fact book it baby! so here it is jimmy if i see it on your blog that be great yeah arooooooooooooooooooo.
kp2osle: show me your pusheyhole baby =))
sharks1419: oh god its dean
kp2osle: i know baby i make you horny
kp2osle: =))
sharks1419: hi dean
kp2osle: hi sweetheart :">
sharks1419: i thought u were leaving for a week?
kp2osle: what makes you think i'm home =;
sharks1419: hahaha
sharks1419: u kill me
kp2osle: i'm a sonner allie l-) i have a private jet
sharks1419: lmao
sharks1419: can i ride on it?
kp2osle: yeah baby :"> you can ride on it anytime
kp2osle: =))
sharks1419: lmao
sharks1419: woooo
kp2osle: talker_a_talker told me he spermed you :O
sharks1419: lmao what!
sharks1419: who is that?
kp2osle: =))
kp2osle: he's a hunk that lives in cali!
sharks1419: i havent been talking that much in the chat...
sharks1419: gross haahaha never even heard of him
kp2osle: he's dating not2nice_31
kp2osle: allie show me those titties baby =))
sharks1419: haha
sharks1419: where r u?
sharks1419: r u on vaca?
kp2osle: i'm flying to texas where i'll board my yacht and sail to the bahamas
kp2osle: :))
sharks1419: lmao
sharks1419: right
kp2osle: come sail with me:"> we can make love to the rocking of the boat :">
sharks1419: no, we would make the boat rock lmao
kp2osle: :))
sharks1419: i have to put my makeup on and brush my teeth lol
sharks1419: hold on
kp2osle: lol get naked baby and i'll call you :">
kp2osle: =))
sharks1419: no u wont!
kp2osle: we'll have phone sex :">
sharks1419: u think im crazy enough to give u my number haha
kp2osle: :))
sharks1419: ive heeard what u have done!
kp2osle: all lies and rumors!
sharks1419: hahaha
sharks1419: ok next time u call walmart ask for velcro condoms not underwear
kp2osle: lmao
sharks1419: ok really hold on haha
kp2osle: ok :P
kp2osle: i just got naked baby:"> i'm waiting on you
sharks1419: hahaha
kp2osle: are you going out?
sharks1419: work
kp2osle: that sucks!
sharks1419: oh well
sharks1419: i have to leave in 10 or so
kp2osle: what do you do at wal-mart?
sharks1419: riiight
kp2osle: =))
kp2osle: are you a stripper?:O
sharks1419: dean stop lol
kp2osle: lol
kp2osle: where do you work? =;
sharks1419: country club !
sharks1419: u know that
kp2osle: you work in the men's bathroom handing out towels!
sharks1419: yeah dean thats what i do
sharks1419: whatever u think
sharks1419: lol
kp2osle: lol
kp2osle: allie i want you :">
sharks1419: no u dont lol
sharks1419: ur trying to set me up to shoot me down and make fun of me
sharks1419: :)
kp2osle: turn on your cam and show me how pretty u look today :">
kp2osle: i would never do that to you!
sharks1419: uh huh
sharks1419: lol
kp2osle: i'm a sweet guy =;
sharks1419: ur married
kp2osle: no i'm not =))
sharks1419: lol uh huh
kp2osle: i'm not!
sharks1419: then why do u lie?!
kp2osle: don't go to work :"> stay and we will make love all night :">
sharks1419: haha i wish
sharks1419: but i do hav to get going
kp2osle: you wish we could make love all night?:O
kp2osle: :(
kp2osle: give me your cell number baby!
sharks1419: u tell me the truth
kp2osle: i'm not married
sharks1419: i wont call u out on it
sharks1419: but u give me the truth and tonight ill think about it
sharks1419: pm it to me and ill read it when i get home
kp2osle: ok:"> i can picture us making love in the future :">
sharks1419: omg
sharks1419: lol
kp2osle: oh my baby
kp2osle: :">
kp2osle: i'll talk to you tonight
kp2osle: and allie....
kp2osle: i want to lick your sexy lil pushey :">
kp2osle: =))
sharks1419: tell m the truth
sharks1419: ill read it when i get back
kp2osle: the truth about what?
kp2osle: lol
sharks1419: YOU!
kp2osle: if i'm married or not?
sharks1419: jus about you
kp2osle: you didn't show me your cam today! :(
kp2osle: i'm hurt
sharks1419: i have to go to work
kp2osle: lol
sharks1419: i cant do this
kp2osle: bye allie :P
sharks1419: good bye dean
kp2osle: >:D<>
Folks, with a little support from the Sonners and chat scrap l-), I have a feeling this love will grow stronger day by day. I sense true love here, people. Do you? Let me know what you think!
3 comments:
I was such a loser while growing up that I didn't have a single friend. I never had anyone to talk to. I had no reason to live. I wondered that if I did kill myself, who would even care? Whose life would be affected if I ended mine?
Back in the day I felt I had to apologize for my existence every time someone looked at me. When people would ask me to smile I would break down and cry. I never had anything to smile about. But today I do.
Yes the rumor is true, Allie said she loved me. I told her I loved her. I haven't really talked to a girl since Shanna. In my desperation I complained to Allie of all my troubles and somehow sensed that she understood. It felt so good to tell someone how I was feeling.
We spoke for hours last night. I told Allie that "No one loves me," and I cried. "Remember that I love you, Dean" Allie said. But I asked Allie how can I know that? Then she reminded me again that she would never hurt me. Now my tears were filled with hope. Allie's love for me and my love for her I can't deny.
ARRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Allie gave me her phone number last night. Tonight we're having phone sex. I will keep everyone posted.
You leave Allie alone! She's mine! All mine! I want to lick that clint and insert my 12-inch strap-on dilldough to the extreme depths of her glorious pusheyhole!
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:48:57 AM): Favorite Quote: "Cheechoo...where?"
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:49:06 AM): good morning, allie
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:49:29 AM): blocking you too fake dean and fake buff
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:49:37 AM): what?
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:49:38 AM): leave me alone!!!!!!!!!!!
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:49:50 AM): i miss you
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:50:06 AM): u have ruined my life enough talker...just leave me alone
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:50:14 AM): who?
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:50:30 AM): lol at me being talker
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:50:40 AM): who told you that?
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:51:00 AM): put things together its not that hard to figure it out
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:51:04 AM): get a life
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:51:18 AM): i have one, not sure if talker does though
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:51:52 AM): what's the matter, allie?
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:51:53 AM): oh really...its 645 in the morning...wtf r u doin online already trying to make my life even more worse?
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:52:05 AM): whatever do you mean?
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:52:29 AM): just because you are some miserable person whoever the fuck u are then..doesnt mean you should go around making other people misrable as well
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:52:33 AM): i only wanted to have a civil convo
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:52:52 AM): you have me wrong, you have been misled
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:53:26 AM): OH REALLY?!?! YOU MAKE SHIT UP ABOUT ME...RUIN THINGS BETWEEN ME AND BUFF...POST A BLOG THAT YOU SAY I WROTE...AND CONTINUE TO MAKE SHIT UP ABOUT ME TO PUSH BUFF FURTHER AWAY FROM ME?????
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:53:33 AM): BUT YET YOU WANT TO HAVE A CIVIL FUCKING CONVERSATION?!?!?!
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:53:35 AM): personally i think talker is a loser as well
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:53:42 AM): GROW THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:54:05 AM): it is sad when a 20 year old knows how to act more responsible and "civil" than you do..
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:54:10 AM): blog?.. what blog?
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:54:15 AM): FUCK YOU
sharks1419 (3/20/2008 6:54:16 AM): ignore
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:54:29 AM): do explain, please
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:54:37 AM): i can help you figure things out
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:55:06 AM): allie?
buff lincoln (3/20/2008 6:55:53 AM): hello?
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